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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There are many I guess you would call biker one liners. I didn't give it much thought until last Friday night. A young rider came over to my shop needing help. He needed some welding done on a frame he had. As I reached down to pick up my welding hood. There was a very loud noise. Ok so I pased a little gas. On scale from one to ten. A good solid 8 or maybe a low 9. I turned and said sounds better since I got that muffler put on it. And the youngster let out a good laugh. Later he was talking about a girl down at the bar. I said I heard she could suck start a Harley. It went on like that for about another hour. Then I began to wonder how many biker one liners are out there. In my 60yrs. I've heard a few. Anyone else got a few to share?

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137 Posts
My Grandmother has a bunch of sayings- not really bike related although my Grandparents still rock an Aspencade. Don't know if these are just common to PA, or are in use by the older generations everywhere...

When you get tripped up in talking...
"I got my tounge wrapped around my eye teeth and couldn't see a word I was sayin"
When you're hungry...
"I'm so hungry my asshole thinks my mouth's got lockjaw"
"I'm so hungry I could eat the asshole out of a skunk"
When someone says "I wish"...
"Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster"
If her kids were scared of the dark...
"Don't worry- if someone steals you in the dark, they'll bring ya back when they see you in the light"
"Shove your fingers in your eyes and yell Sparks".
When you're almost out of toilet paper-
"Write 111 on the wall" (which I can only assume meant that you were supposed to back up and wipe your ass on the wall?)
To imply that a girl "gets around"-
"If you had as many sticking outta ya as you've had sticking in ya, you'd be a goddamn porcupine"
And the old classics-
"I see, said the monkey, as he picked up his hammer and saw"
"as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs".

There are bunches more, those are the first that spring to mind.
Sorry if I took this off topic- none really seem to apply to bikes.

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473 Posts
This old burly biker friend of mine went to the doctor to get some pain meds for his back ache. The doctor asked him what he could do for him, and JR said, some valium would be nice. And the Doctor gets all snippy and says " Why don't I just WRITE you a prescription for HEROIN!!! " And JR stands up and says " Why don't I punch you in the fucking FACE!!! " And the doctor sits down and writes him a perscription for the valium.

JR is about 6'8" with long scraggily hair and a beard that I swear houses a bird. He is one of the nicest guys in the world. He would give you the shirt off his back (not that you would want it, he would wear it for about 4 days in a row)

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255 Posts
Me & a friend were talking about a guy who was a real pain in the Ass and my friend says,"I wouldn't cross the road to piss in his ear if his brains were on fire!". It made me chuckle. His other favourite is "About as much use as tits on a fish!".:D
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